Charles Dickens’ fantastical talents deliver a massive slap in the face for most copywriters, editors, content marketers, dramatists, journalists and authors. How could one man deliver 20,000+ high quality words a month, shift huge volumes of books, promote important social causes and still find time to walk an average of 10 miles a day around London? Kathryn and Nick have been … [Read more...]
Part VII: Tramping the Halls of Westminster
“Ed,” sang the high pitched female voice emerging briskly from the second set of security gates which separated the public from the tree-lined interior of Portcullis House. “Anyone for Ed… Miliband?” she continued, her voice starting sing-song, but getting steadily flatter as her request barely raised a glance from the hot, gathered throng. This was Wednesday. I had … [Read more...]
Episode 1: We Need a Manifesto
It’s been seven weeks since the first wave of victory flooded through the converted North London town house. It was from here that the triumphant ‘pint swilling gatecrasher at the Westminster toga party!’ speeches were written; and the emails demanding extra cash for the long campaign ahead were sent out again, and again, all bearing Harry Ra’Basche’s friendly grinning face and … [Read more...]
Part VI: Is it all Just a Little Bit of History Repeating?
There’s dancing and chanting and donkeys on skates Strange flaming robes and young girls spinning plates An odd little boy with a bright red balloon And a pack of wild dogs howling up at the moon They’re all pointing at me, I just want to run A knot in my stomach says this won’t be fun “Dance!” boomed a voice from on high… A low whirling kicked up from the floor in … [Read more...]
Part V: Rev J W Simpson vs Fab Farage
I’ve been reading manifestos, looking to find a cause Elections are looming, though I don’t have a vote Still I haven’t seemed to find a voice that echoes with my own But I know we need integrity … not awful racist blokes. There is something odd and faintly offensive about the Rev J W Simpson cocktail bar in Fitzrovia. This is the former home of the eponymous … [Read more...]
Fab Farage Song: Drinking Pints & Usurping the Far Right
Fab Farage and UKIP… a meteoric rise that would be funny if it wasn’t so scary. From the Euros to the General Election, it’s going to be an interesting 12 months for the ‘definitely not a racist party’. Fab Farage: A UKIP Odyssey (with Slightly Racist Notes) Music credit: Stan Ridgway I was reading manifestos, needed to fly my flag Elections were looming and I had a … [Read more...]
Part IV: All My Loving Says Boris Johnson Shoooooo!
I’m in the Agora waiting my turn, The sun’s bearing down and it’s starting to burn, I cast my vote straight into an urn: Chucking him out is the way that he’ll learn! The summit of the Acropolis seems like it is level with the endless blue sky. The heat is so strong it feels as if my skin might decide to simply fizzle up into flame any second. The whole Agora is fit to … [Read more...]
Part III: Anarchy in the UK
They chanted for freedom, I didn’t know why, Whirling around me their placards raised high. I only stepped out for a walk in the sun, When half-baked rebellion squashed all my fun. “Death to the fat cats!” rang out their decree. “Good golly!” I stammered… they may well mean me. The scampering behind me grew louder and the low murmured chanting became clear. I quickened … [Read more...]
P45 Song: Thanks for all the Government Cuts
A quick song about benefit cuts, unemployment… and the government’s tendency to do really silly things to the people who need the most help. Song: P-45 Music credit: Dolly Parton Tumble outta bed I'm already in the kitchen Fleas in my bedsit got my face itchin Scratchin', bleedin', can't believe my life Unemployed six months So I had to downgrade All the banks … [Read more...]
Part II: The Liberal Sub-Conservatives
He spoke of the future and who they oppose Of battling all evil, defeating vile foes He pledged up their ‘Freedom’ to raucous applause And Partisans gave themselves to his epic cause Then as he paid tribute to those who he led I slipped away quietly, scratching my head His knuckles turned white as he gripped the edges of the lectern and coaxed it into life, swaying it … [Read more...]