Rising plucky from our seats before the gathered throng We addressed the noble 56 who governed true and strong Mike articulated gamely, his speech was just sublime The Leader of the Council barked, “Now is not the time.” “I questioned you in writing, please let me have the floor…” Before Mike Franks could finish, we were marched right out the door “Do not be … [Read more...]
About Greg's Political Diaries
At the end of 2013, Mississippi billionaire, Greg Goode, was desperate to find a political party he could truly believe in. Now, this monthly missive details all the trials and tribulations associated with putting an alternative plan in action. He loves to rhyme, believes in bees… and will not shut up about cheese.
Part VIII: My Epic Quest
With inspired fervour I cast out my net And snared a great horde of potentials to vet The journey that followed was completely unplanned And it feels like I’ve travelled every road in this land I met a Brummie in Bracknell who thought he was Jesus A roofer in Rugeley enticed me with cheeses Two sisters in Stafford had planned a new town… But only for white folk, no … [Read more...]
Part VII: Tramping the Halls of Westminster
“Ed,” sang the high pitched female voice emerging briskly from the second set of security gates which separated the public from the tree-lined interior of Portcullis House. “Anyone for Ed… Miliband?” she continued, her voice starting sing-song, but getting steadily flatter as her request barely raised a glance from the hot, gathered throng. This was Wednesday. I had … [Read more...]
Part VI: Is it all Just a Little Bit of History Repeating?
There’s dancing and chanting and donkeys on skates Strange flaming robes and young girls spinning plates An odd little boy with a bright red balloon And a pack of wild dogs howling up at the moon They’re all pointing at me, I just want to run A knot in my stomach says this won’t be fun “Dance!” boomed a voice from on high… A low whirling kicked up from the floor in … [Read more...]
Part V: Rev J W Simpson vs Fab Farage
I’ve been reading manifestos, looking to find a cause Elections are looming, though I don’t have a vote Still I haven’t seemed to find a voice that echoes with my own But I know we need integrity … not awful racist blokes. There is something odd and faintly offensive about the Rev J W Simpson cocktail bar in Fitzrovia. This is the former home of the eponymous … [Read more...]
Part IV: All My Loving Says Boris Johnson Shoooooo!
I’m in the Agora waiting my turn, The sun’s bearing down and it’s starting to burn, I cast my vote straight into an urn: Chucking him out is the way that he’ll learn! The summit of the Acropolis seems like it is level with the endless blue sky. The heat is so strong it feels as if my skin might decide to simply fizzle up into flame any second. The whole Agora is fit to … [Read more...]
Part III: Anarchy in the UK
They chanted for freedom, I didn’t know why, Whirling around me their placards raised high. I only stepped out for a walk in the sun, When half-baked rebellion squashed all my fun. “Death to the fat cats!” rang out their decree. “Good golly!” I stammered… they may well mean me. The scampering behind me grew louder and the low murmured chanting became clear. I quickened … [Read more...]
Part II: The Liberal Sub-Conservatives
He spoke of the future and who they oppose Of battling all evil, defeating vile foes He pledged up their ‘Freedom’ to raucous applause And Partisans gave themselves to his epic cause Then as he paid tribute to those who he led I slipped away quietly, scratching my head His knuckles turned white as he gripped the edges of the lectern and coaxed it into life, swaying it … [Read more...]
Part I: Pilgrimage for Truth
I’m a capitalist, yank, damn baby boomer Labelled in the past as a zealot consumer But I will not pray in a church made of greed It’s more like-minded people of which I have need Partisans, comrades, Searchlight’s optioned my voice I hope you’ll listen as I hunt for a choice Partisans, my name is Greg Goode and I am an evil capitalist billionaire recently moved to … [Read more...]