Our resident protest singer doesn’t always write songs with a political edge. Stella recently picketed her cheese-dunce of a husband for refusing to join her annual cheese constitutional in France. After five years of refusal, you’d think he might relent and join her for some seeping Reblochon and gum-tingling Saint-Maure de Touraine. Alas no… and Stella is not impressed.

Oozing Brie by Stella & the Fromagers

Music credit: Counting Crows

In France is where I holiday
Cheese country is where I stay
I go for Mimolette and Franche-Comte
Camembert from Normandy’s fine fettle
I go every May
My man won’t come with me
He hates my oozing Brie
Yeah, he just loves Dairylea

I’m chomping my Ossau-Iraty
I’m hoovering up a great Langres
With a plate piled high with squelchy Brie
There’s no one to share it with me
I’m lonely, but scoff it anyway
My man won’t come with me
He hates my oozing Brie
Yeah, he just loves Dairylea

There’s a sorrow in my heart and mind
Love of fake-fake cheese it is a crime
Not eating Rouquefort or Touraine
Or Banon or Beaufort is insane
Why won’t he give them all a try?
My man won’t come with me
He loves his Dairylea
Yeah, but it tastes chemically

Yeah, why won’t he try the Brie?
Yeah, why won’t he try the Brie?
Yeah, why won’t he try the Brie?