Stella has just sent us her take on the heckle heard around the world. It made us giggle… and like all of her stuff, we’ll keep putting it online until she gets us sued (at which point we’ll just stand on a street corner with a speaker).

 

You Ain’t No Muslim Bruv

Music Credit: Noel Gay

Surging out onto the street
Frantic panting, pounding feet
Rubber-neckers with mobiles raised
Looking to get some YouTube plays
Travellers tried to cool things off
A ‘have-a-go’ exchanged some blows
A junior doctor stemmed the flow
In London
 
Then a lone voice in the back
Piped up with a heartfelt crack
Heard round the world: You ain’t no Muslim bruv
 
Bloggers, news-hounds, Average Joes
From Internet to mainstream shows
Hashtagged their prose: You ain’t no Muslim bruv
 
The right wing don’t much like it
When everyone is united
It’s harder to push their poison
Watch them, stop them
 
Close the doors intern the browns
From old New York to London Town
No Mr Trump: That’s pretty racist bruv
 
Exploit your anger feed the hate
To bring back a Vichy state
Front National: You’re pretty fascist bruv
 
Can it help? There’s no debate
It shits all over knee-jerk hate
So once again: You ain’t no Muslim bruv